On suffering

Friends, I've been quiet around here lately.  I'm not sure why.  I think of this sacred space often and want to write, post, update.  But I just don't have the inspiration.  I don't know if it's the sheer exhaustion of parenting my three people every day.  Or if it's the twinge of loneliness I find myself wallowing in some days.  Or if it's the heartache I feel for so many in my life.  Whatever it is, I just haven't found it in me lately.  But for today, for now, I'm mustering up what I have, sitting in front of the fire watching the snow fall and forcing myself to write.  It really is a beautiful view.  I hate the cold.. but watching the snow fall outside really is magical.

There's a lot of heaviness around me lately.  And because Christ calls us to carry each other's burdens, my heart has been heavy.  I have three friends who have lost precious babies in the past three weeks.  Three very much wanted babies.  It's heartbreaking to be expectantly anticipating ultrasounds, due dates, gender reveals, finishing out a pregnancy, welcoming a new baby into the family...only to be met with loss and heartache. 

I've followed the story of this family for the last couple of years.  I went to high school with Joe, who just lost his battle with cancer at age 31...days before his 3rd wedding anniversary and a month before his daughter's 1st birthday.  

I have a friend suffering through infertility, another suffering from severe depression, and yet another dealing with intense anxiety.  Y'all, my heart is heavy for all of the suffering around me.  Some days it can feel hopeless.  But then, that still small voice reminds me that Jesus came to redeem.  He wants to take what is hopeless, what is painful, what is dead.. and breathe in new life, hope, and joy.  In EVERYTHING, He is good.  Some days that is harder to believe that others.  

"Therefore we do not lost heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but what is unseen, for what is seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal."        ~1 Corinthains 4:16-18

This song sums it up perfectly.  Please watch the whole thing.. it's powerful... tears are flowing as I watch.  

Thank you, Jesus, that our suffering is NOT meaningless.  Be near.