Awareness & Obedience

I can't believe I'm both back to blog and that I've been gone for so long. I never thought I'd stop blogging but it's been a good 6 1/2 months since I've taken the time to write here. So goes life, I suppose. Life has left me physically and emotionally tired the last several months. There's been such a heavy cloud of grief surrounding some of my most loved ones who are close, both geographically and emotionally to me. I actually wrote about that exact topic about a year ago, before it went from bad to worse. Little did I know I would continue to watch friends suffer infertility, lose more babies, and then most heartbreaking of all, watch my cousin and his wife, my dear family and friends, lose their 3 year old to brain cancer in a matter of six months. I don't know if that's why I've stopped blogging or if I'm just too freaking tired at the end of each day to think real coherent thoughts and then actually record them. Regardless, tonight felt like the right time to reappear in the blogging world.

Tonight I'm celebrating survival. You see, we got our first placement though the Safe Families for Children program last Thursday night. Around 10 pm that night, I picked up a 14 month old girl who will be living with us for the next three months. I knew nothing about this child before bringing her into our home. I didn't know her temperament, her likes or dislikes, her routines, where she came from, what her life has been like, if she could crawl, walk, talk, eat solid food...nothing. All I knew was there was somewhat of an emergency situation and that this baby girl needed a home NOW.  So, we said yes. And tonight I'm celebrating that we've made it through our first five days and nights. I'm also celebrating that I made it through my first day and night solo with all four kids, since Justin is out of town ALL week for work. (Awesome timing, Lord! Thanks!)

Getting to where we are right now, with an extra kiddo in our care for some time, has been one small step of awareness and obedience after another. Years ago I heard a speaker from the Perspectives course share that the number one way to fight child trafficking in the US is to foster and adopt children out of foster care. That has stayed with me, in the back of my mind, for years. About a year after that, I first heard about Safe Families through my brother and sister-in-law. Another year or two after that, I met a few families in our area who are a part of the program. Several months after that, our church shared that they were holding an informational meeting about Safe Families. Justin and I looked at each other after reading that in the bulletin and both said, "Lets go. Just to check it out." So we went to the meeting. At the meeting, we heard about an upcoming training at our church. We decided to go to that, too. Just in case. We went to the training. As I heard the founder of the program explaining why he started it and the purpose of it (to keep kids out of the foster system and prevent abuse before it occurs), I couldn't hold back the tears. We heard story after story that day and my eyes were filled with tears over and over again. What seems so simple and easy for us has the opportunity to be life changing for another family. I stay home and raise children anyway... why can't we take in another for awhile? We have leftovers every night at dinner...why can't I feed just one more? We have a house with extra space... why can't we fit just one more? Yes, it's a sacrifice: four kids is harder than three. My children now have to share me. Yes, it's a risk: A new child changes family dynamics. My children could potentially learn unwanted behaviors. We have to spend our own money buying clothes, diapers, and meeting this child's needs. I'm not romanticizing or ignoring that. But to us, it's also so simple. Following Jesus requires sacrifice and risk. Doing what we already do - raise children, make meals, clean up meals, do laundry, offer love and protection - but still having the opportunity to make sacrifices seems like the right thing for our family, as we continue learning how to follow Jesus.

I can hardly talk about this without crying. It just feels so right. And that's an amazing gift to know you are right where you need to be, doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing.

So now I'm going to sit back with my glass of wine and celebrate that God wants to redeem families and keep them together and that we get to be the teeniest, tiniest part of that story.

This is an excellent 2 minute overview of the program by Dave Anderson, the founder. If you aren't familiar with it, please watch!