You'll be walking out the door...when you walk out the door

Claire started out the morning great. We were down with her around 9:30 this morning for the doctor's rounds to begin. Our resident doc came through first and reviewed Claire's status with us. She stated that her bilirubin levels dropped from 11.9 to 8.4 and that was enough for her to consider taking her off of the bili lights. With that done, the only thing keeping her here is to see how her bilirubin levels respond after removing the lights. She stated she was doing so well that the doc may even consider sending her home today. What a tease.

The doc came through and ordered the lights to be removed at 4 this afternoon, but was quick to say that she would not be going home today because he wanted to continue to monitor her weight and check the bili levels.

We had some fun this afternoon with taking Claire out of the incubator and putting her in a real crib. She was back to her onesies and being wrapped up like a burrito. We got to give her her first bath. The nurse went over all of our discharge information, quizzed us on scenarios we might run into after going home, and even mentioned doing the car seat check to prepare her for going home.

However, at Claire's 4:30 feeding, the alarms started going off and the monitor was recording a really low heart rate and oxygen levels. It only lasted about 10 seconds but was enough to worry the nurse. It happened again at her 7:30 feeding as well. The nurse stated that feeding may be making her work too hard and her little body isn't able to keep up with it. Claire has also regressed in eating. She isn't eating for nearly as long as she was previously, and the night nurse had mentioned putting her back on a feeding tube (I guess she didn't know that Claire had never been on a feeding tube). She was pretty sure that the doctor would not allow her to go home now that this is happening. Her statement was "I guess you'll walk out the door when you walk out the door". Looks like it could be Thanksgiving in the hospital.

We're feeling pretty frustrated. It seems that every few steps forward has been met with another setback and it seems that she is regressing to places she had never been, even after birth. We now are to the point that we get nervous when it comes time to feed because we don't know what new thing may happen.

Please pray for her. As much as we would love to be home with her, she has some things to get stronger at. Pray for us too. We've been prepared several times now for taking her home and then staying extra nights. Its exhausting emotionally. We're physically tired and that has made this specific setback tough to deal with.

Thank you to those of you who have brought meals. It has provided a huge relief and one less thing to think about during the day. Thanks also for your prayers, phone calls, wall posts : ) , and emails. Claire's fan club on the Shoe Print will be something we'll gladly tell her about when she's older : )